"Which puts us between a rock and a hard place," said Kirk. "On one hand, the Barricaians are too pacific and advanced a society to let go without even attempting to persuade them toward Federation membership. On the other hand, the very extent of their pacifism and beneficence makes them loathe to have anything to do with Starfleet. It seems that if we are to approach them, it must be in the way that other outsiders utilize their world, as a 'love nest' of sorts.
McCoy rolled his eyes.
"It's clear you've
been married, Jim.
fight all the time
and we aren't having sex.
been married—briefly—once himself. Scotty
He had never been married
puts the ball in your court."
looked skeptically towards his dignified exec.
"As one who has been referred to
the best first
officer in the fleet—"
should have known that remark would come back to bite him in the butt.
"—I am confident that I am
up to any assignment,"
Spock continued coolly.
circumstances, I may put in a request for hazardous duty pay."
"Duly noted, and I can't say I
chuckled and stood, signaling the
meeting and the issue was at an end.
"Who was it who said that we
all make our own purgatories?
Somebody wise, I bet."
"Something else, Mr. Chekov?" His ears pricking toward the ensign, Spock pierced Chekov with a stony glance.
"No, sir. I was just...humming. It makes the time go by. Vat a shame that Wagner wasn't born a Russian." Chekov put on an ingenuous smile and strolled slowly out of the briefing room with the unmistakable strains of "Here Comes the Bride" falling away behind him.
The planet was gorgeous, rich and
ocean shoreline was unspoiled.
reefs jumped with fish.
of the interior was jungle.
the rim it was more arid, but still
specialized vegetation grew among the rocks.
Leafy green groundcover
sprouted pink blossoms keeping
much of the land
near shore from eroding.
In the settlements neat white
were designed to
reflect the heat and channel the breeze.
yards, flowering vines and
stubby trees resembling Earth palms waved languidly in the air.
It was clear why the Federation wanted it. It seemed smart not to let them have it considering the mess Earth had made of things in the past, although to be fair, Earth and the Federation as a whole had been doing better in recent years.
"Dear God, do you think we can be trusted with a treasure like
as he breathed
in the, sweet unpolluted air.
"Yes," said Spock.
"You're an idealist. Who would have thought it?" asked McCoy as he put a hand out to cup a heavy red bloom and sniffed. The perfume was rich and reminded him of a wonderful, younger time when everything was still open and possible before him in his life.
"I am not. But as you and I will be crafting the recommendations, we can ensure whatever is right is done."
"Like I said: you're an idealist,"
just before the welcoming committee made it to the arrival area.
"Beings Spock and McCoy." The Barricaians quivered, presumptively in greeting. "Welcome to our domain. Are you newly paired, or working through troubled times with us?"
"Newly paired," said McCoy.
"Troubled times," said Spock
There was an awkward pause as
The taller Barricaian made a barking sound. "I see. Then, I have seldom met a pair more in need of the services of our world. Please, may our home be yours for the duration, and when you depart, may it be with what you need." He (or she?) backed away to greet the next arriving couple.
"Well, that went well," said McCoy
"Indeed," said Spock with no trace of irony. "We seem to be accepted."
"Maybe wedding bands would have helped," mused McCoy.
"We can have the ship beam
down a set.
Or buy a pair here at the local tourist trap, if it doesn't look like
risk turning our fingers green.
that be red, in your case?"
"That is a Human preconception," Spock said, ignoring the barb. "Vulcans do not indicate matrimonial status with jewelry."
"So what do they do?"Spock reached out and brushed McCoy's head, and McCoy's mind went white hot.
"Jesus!" said McCoy, as he caught
breath against the back of his
"As you immediately and specifically requested the knowledge, additional prologues would have been illogical."
"That's easy for you to say. You're
the telepath; you
do that all the
"I do not.
you are simply complaining for its own sake.
In fact, I suspect you would
be dismally unhappy should
you ever run out
of nonsensical matters about which to complain."
"Yeah, well, if you're going to
around, I don't
guess I'll have the chance to find out," McCoy rallied.
Most of his color was back.
"I don't suppose you will," Spock
McCoy raised his tricorder and
We have a
job to do."
Spock leveled his and began to
nearby pockets of native
appear to be engaged in
activities in offshore water craft, some on land, and some actually in
McCoy looked with his tricorder. "In
the water. We are
heading to the
bunch in the water!
He aimed his
set off down the rubble path lined with flowering groundcover on both
It was a pretty walk, reminiscent
the best botanical
gardens of the south, but exotic too.
That was the interesting
thing about life in space; the
seemed oddly familiar in a subliminal way he couldn't quite place.
The topped a small rise and the
fell away to a crescent
bay pale pink sand glistened opalescent for a hundred yards or more up
whole bay had to be at
over a kilometer long. McCoy checked his tricorder.
No, it was 4.1! After
three years on a star ship, four
kilometers of beach was nigh infinity.
The bright sun played tricks with
eyes making it seem
much shorter than it was.
Or maybe it was the fact he was a
little distracted; the
hundreds of people on the beach were naked.
McCoy dropped his clothes and tied
them to his tricorder strap.
"You knew," said Spock with a nod to the people. The naked people.
doing a thorough job.
else would you expect?
we have to start somewhere; might as well
bounced on his
It felt kind of good, so he
Spock regarded him.
"Don't just stand there, sweet
bounced again, letting the sand work
its way between his toes.
under orders to blend in.
afraid that I'm going to find something to complain down there?" He
gave a mischievous nod
to Spock's crotch.
Raising one eyebrow and dropping
his clothing, Spock met
McCoy gave a whistle, but couldn't find a damned thing to complain about.
They collected native interactions. It
was about as
straightforward as any planet
they had encountered.
intelligence didn't often come together so neatly, but when it did,
wasn't much to say about the cultural survey. They
needed about two hours more
been allotted almost
"Kabma juice?" a child offered
"Thanks, son," said McCoy. He
took the container that
looked like some
kind of large native nut.
took a big
swig, then offered it to Spock.
Spock took a sip and coughed. He
"Fourteen percent ethanol."
"Now you tell me." McCoy chugged the rest and stuck the paper umbrella behind his ear. "Hey, it's dangerous to risk dehydration can't be too careful."
parasol should help immensely."
Spock switched off his
"I think we have collected
Perhaps another locale."
The sun was warm.
McCoy's body was warm.
was half hard from watching all the happy, naked couples and it was
harder by the second.
"I want to frolic," he said. Quickly
he made a nook in
the sand for his
clothes and tricorder and dashed for the water.
"Don't be such a fuddy duddy,
part of the cultural
it's not safe to swim alone."
It was true; it wasn't.
And they were effectively
done with their data collection
did require periods to relax and
recuperate, however illogical that aspect of their physiology may be.
All of that made rather nice cover
for the simple fact that
bobbing in the warmth of the ocean waves seemed that it might be
The water was warm, about 29
and an interesting hue
wondered what it
contained for dissolved solutes to color it and wished he had taken the
for a tricorder scan.
waded in chest
deep to where McCoy waited.
lapped gently at their chests.
density was significantly higher than that of the Earth's oceans and
little more than that of the Vulcan seas.
It buoyed them up easing
tired joints, leaving a floaty
Vulcan's had feelings, one might say, that is.
"Hey, sailor, come here often?" McCoy
behind his ear fell loose
and floated away.
Spock squinted into the sunlight. "Are
"Nah, just happy. Best assignment I've drawn in months." McCoy dived down under the waves and grabbed Spock's knees, pulling him under the water. He came up laughing. Spock came up, well, not exactly laughing, but not exactly annoyed either. Payback is hell. Spock timed it just right to push McCoy down under the next wave.
I guess you could say they
Breathing hard, McCoy came up
three wave surge
pressed him up against Spock's chest. The sun was still warm; his dick
harder. The pressure of the waves at his back kept him sandwiched to
around, they had been
dragged out to deeper water.
easy to keep his balance in the waves here chin deep.
He used his hands to steady
Steady himself. Right. He caressed around the side of one hip and close in enough in front to discover what he wanted to know.
A wave rolled in, and he used
body for leverage,
raising himself above the wave crest and back down.
A little bolder this time, he
he maneuvered—their cocks to brush in passing. It felt so
nice McCoy started to
think being half drowned would be a fair trade. M'benga
could always bring him back...
Fortunately, Spock took a few steps inshore to shallower water.
Or was that, "Spock moved a few steps away from McCoy?"
Three goddamned years and McCoy still hadn't learned how to decipher that Vulcan's blasted accent.
McCoy cleared his throat. "Uh,
for all our...arguing,
or whatever you want to call it...I'm honestly not sure what it is you
and, uh, for this, I do need to be sure."
Spock picked up McCoy's hand and
placed it—palm open—on top
of his tumescent crotch.
message and began to move his hand.
Spock was a handful; McCoy had
known that, but this
was literally as well as figuratively now.
The cock was ample, but it
was the balls that drew most of
Human's they swelled
noticeably with excitement.
were at least four times as big as their normal state.
McCoy could only begin to
guess at the amount
of semen they held or how much they could unload at their maximum. And
that didn't even
include the prostatic
Curious, he reached behind the balls. Spock was swollen big as a coconut there too. McCoy wondered what it would be like to lick that gland with his tongue. For now fingers would have to do, and he spread all five as wide as he could and bit in hard. Apparently that did something right, for Spock spread his legs further apart for better access and with one arm picked McCoy up and smashed him to his chest and groin.
"Christ on a crutch!"
McCoy swallowed water as his
head lolled back,
but quickly found his balance on Spock's hips.
He looked around. No
paying them much attention.
vital parts were all under water; it's not like anyone could really see.
And if Spock wasn't going to back down, you could be dadblamed sure McCoy wouldn't chicken out first.
And sometimes a man was just too blasted close to give a good goddamn who was watching, and McCoy was about one hair's breath away from that point and moving closer with the motion of every wave.
McCoy wrapped his legs around
back and dug in hard
with heels and thighs.
manipulation of hands and water and groins and lust, he worked between
legs until they both came spewing enough semen between them to make
milky lake right there in the ocean between their stomachs.
Together they made little fanning gestures with their hands until it had all drifted away.
The Barricaian shooed a mother cat
with a litter of kittens
off the porch and opened the door to a small cabana off of the beach. "May
your stay leave you
with as many of
our wonders as you bequeath upon us.
quivered and bowed out of the way.
"Looks like were sharing a bed,"
McCoy as he
"It is only for a few hours. I
will not need sleep."
"Well, I do," McCoy emphasized, throwing his tricorder down with a weary sigh. "If you're uncomfortable after...uh...you know...I can take the sofa."
"You can, but you would be missing out on an exceptional experience." Spock threw his tricorder onto the sofa.
"Why you stuck-up, self-important, over-inflated elf!" McCoy grinned from ear to ear to ear.
Spock just looked smug.
McCoy checked the bathroom. "I found some lotion," he called out. "If you're game, I'm more than ready and willing. It's too bad this stuff washes off in water, otherwise I'd be up for going right back out there."
"I thought you were going to
"Shut up, Spock."
Clothes again lost somewhere
between the bathroom and the
tossed him the lotion and climbed under the sheets.
Spock's communicator beeped.
Jim with his ever impeccable
How is the
McCoy grabbed Spock's wrist and
suppressed a giggle.
"Happy as can be, Jim. You interrupted us just about to screw our dicks
"Very funny, Bones.
Keep your day job. Spock?"
"Good. Any chance of cutting it short? I'd like to get a head start if possible."
"Negative. It is said a society may be judged by how it treats its animals, and I have some concerns about my observations of the treatment of animals here. I should like to use the left over time to study it further."
Now McCoy noticed that the mother
and her litter curled
up in a corner of the room.
have let them in while McCoy was in the bath.
The old softie.
"Do you think that's necessary?"
"Imperative, Captain." Spock squeezed lotion onto McCoy's hand and closed his eyes as McCoy began to massage it in.
Report back to me in
"Thank God," said McCoy and fell onto Spock's nipple with his mouth. "But tell the truth: did you really want to stay for the mission, or as an excuse to have more sex in paradise?"
"I noted a large collection of companion animals on our initial survey; I should like to visit that."
McCoy feared he knew the
Can't live with 'em; can't
sell 'em to the Orions since
they don't want
"I remind you, number one, I am
animals." Spock nodded to the corner.
"And number two, as we are
assigned to pass as a couple,
part of our mission. So should we go in three or four hours, my
clear as regards to use of official time."
"Then if I'm on duty, I should get
pay," McCoy quipped as Spock's dick plumped to hemorrhoidal proportions
"I'll see you get your payment,"
Spock, as he
felt the semen begin to swell his sac again.
He rolled McCoy over and
licked long strokes up and down
nibbled and nipped at McCoy's asshole and
poked a lubricated finger in and out.
"Whatever shall we do for
One hand fondling lightly on
the balls, Spock
pulled his finger out for good and made lazy patterns on the cheeks of
please, put it in.
you in me too much."
ground out through bared teeth.
there would be other times to play,
maybe not, but it didn't matter; now he had to have that cock upside
slipped it in just
a tiny bit.
"Goddammit you green-blooded
let fly every
invective he could think of until Spock finally leaned in tight and
whole thing home.
into a gobbledygook that made no sense at all, and he grasp
Spock's arms as they rocked together on the sheets.
When Spock came inside him,
he swore the cockhead
swelled twice as big first before uncorking enough semen to drown a
As for himself, McCoy was dry dry dry from the first time he assumed, but too damn tired to open his eyes or care.
Behind his eyelids, he drifted
pleasantly, until an odd
sensation caused him to open one eye.
was like the uncomfortable prickling one gets with the sensation one is
watched, except that this was not uncomfortable at all.
In fact, it was kind of nice.
McCoy queried with his face.
was propped up on one elbow gazing at McCoy intently, the other hand at
"As you requested, I am 'warning you', Leonard." Spock laid the hand against the meld points of McCoy's skull.
This time the experience wasn't
white, but sunshine, ocean
and breezes instead.